Mercy Morbid

Seems like and odd phrase to use as the title for the first post of a new blog, but its true. I have fucking had it. I've had it with Trump, and I've had it with Right-Wingers. I've had it with pandemics, and I've had it with Artificial “Intelligence.” I've had it with algorithms, I've had it with SEO bullshit, and I've super had it with Elon Musk. Most of all, I've had it with America, the land of the not-actually-free and home of the definitely-not-brave. The great colonialist lie I was sold all my life and actually fell for. America is a shitstain on the world that acts like it has anything more to offer than exploitation and murder. Fuck America.

I know I'm not alone in this line of thinking. I see people screaming about this stuff on social media all the time. I have avoided writing long form content about it mostly because I did not think I had much to add in the way of intelligent discussion. But when alternative facts and fake news rule the airwaves, every bit of truth helps. Factual truth, of course, but also spiritual truth and emotional truth. And that's what I am to provide: the truth.

The subtitle of this blog is, at the time of this posting, “Old, Trans, and Tired.” I might change it to “Old, Trans, and Fucking Pissed,” or “Old, Trans, and Not Going Quietly.” Its a work in progress, just like everything is. The point is, I'm transgender, in my thirties, and done playing around. Maybe if people genuinely knew what it was like to be transgender, to be forced into a ill-fitting role based on your genitals and called a monster when you want out, to be treated like a pedophile when all you want it to put on a skirt and look pretty...well, maybe things would be better. And not just for trans people.

Ever wonder why the right wingers care so much about oppressing queer people? It's not because they believe in Jesus. It's because we are a living wedge they can use to drive the working class apart. They can point to us and say “Our culture is degrading!” and watch as people clutch their pearls and flood the ballot box, giving them the power they need to squash everything they supposedly care about. Make no mistake: they don't care about our genitals. They care about power. Only power.

I don't pretend to have the answers. I don't believe in utopias, or permanent happiness. I just want people to suffer less. And if that's gonna happen, I need to show people what suffering really looks like. People like to stick their heads in the sand, and they are welcome to continue to do so. But I will yell so loud that they'll hear me underground.

I will not be silent. That is not a threat. That is a promise.